i dont know why.. i keep hate this part of my life.. i keep yell to my self... i just cant say how my felling by a words now! i really feel so sad n so worry about this world ryte noe.. i'm so tired with this all.. i feel like i dont hav any of it..! i really want to be a good daughter to ma mom n papa but.. sometimes i cant make it for real... i really dissapointed to my self..i hate to be a moody person.. that's all really bother my relationship with other... thats make me not comfortable.. i always hope for somethings more than i hav.. that is so shit about me! i really want to change it noe... i hav many things more to do in this world.. i just cant be like this.. i just cant give up noe... ! but i dont know y.. sometimes i really feels hate everyone in my life... this happen bcuz i never love my self truthly in my whole life... i really hate ma self like this.. i cannot do anythings at all.. i just like trash! i cant make people smile either happy in there life.. i just make them all sad.. thats only what i can do.. but i really trying to do somethings that can make them happy... i not pretty and i'm not a clever person either... i just make my friends n family in trouble... i really want to run for this all. i hope i can go somewhere that no one can find me... i want to learn more about the life.. i want to know n understand the world to,so no one can lie n make me like rubbish.. then i want to make new life with new friends n a new heart.. n just forget about all the past n make thats all as my momory of living by hating my own self.. noww... i cant understand my own world... this all really make me so sad when somethings i never ever predict happen towords my self...i accept all this but i am not happy.. i can lie to everyone but not to my own self..! even i laughing n singing with happiness in front of u all but thats not what the real of my fellin.. only my self can noe this.. but i cant understand my self...
i so longlai type.. so this make everyone take my self easy... i so soft hearted now.. but this will make me dont comfortable.. but i cant be a hot n full of anger person.. cuz i am not like tht....! damn confuse abt my self.. haishh... what the hack is this??? really terrible... i want to make everythings over now..! can i start a new life? do i still capable to do this? can i?? shit...!!!!! hate this all...!i really dont want to be fuckin' bad person but it's really funckin when someone make my self like the shit hell trash..! i dant know what to do now.... huhuhuhuhu.... please dont force my self be like this.... shikin stay strong please...! stay up! remember ALLAH swt and u family member.... huhu
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